Shift Shapers Podcast

13 Apr 2020

Ep #308: Dealing With People You Can’t Stand – with Dr. Rick Brinkman

David Saltzman 0 Comments

This episode of The ShiftShapers Podcast is called “Dealing With People You Can’t Stand – with Dr. Rick Brinkman”. Today, host and Chief Transformation Strategist David Saltzman and Rick talk about bringing out the best in people by first understanding intent and criteria.

With these, and the knowledge of 13 archetypes of people you can’t stand, it becomes much easier to understand where they are coming from and to communicate what you want to tell them effectively.

What You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • 05:01 13 archetypes of people you can’t stand
  • 08:12 The Know-It-All: Understanding intent and criteria
  • 13:57 The Tank, Winding & Negativity
  • 17:31 Listening with the intent to understand
  • 19:25 Changing attitudes to deal with people

Quotes:

08:06 “You can think of these behaviors like workout machines in a gym: each one’s got to work out a different muscle group. What a Know-It-All is going to teach us is how to open a closed mind.”

08:26 “Understanding is probably the most powerful skill you can ever develop as a communicator. If you have the ability to put aside something you want to say very badly and temporarily focus in on the other person, then you can’t get into an argument.”

11:47 “In any situation, if you’re trying to understand people, two of the most important things you can ever understand is their intent and criteria.”

19:00 “You really have to train yourself to breathe through your desire to speak and really let the other person go first. And then it’s so easy to get people to realize anything.”

21:46 “So if you’re replaying the past the way it was, you’re creating an association. The next time you’re in that situation, you’ll be even quicker at being intimidated or whatever you don’t want. So you have to break that cycle.”

Resources:

Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst” by Dr. Rick Brinkman

Dealing with Meetings You Can’t Stand: Meet Less and Do More” by Dr. Rick Brinkman

Listen to the Full Interview:

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